Bride of Christ

At Mount Shasta

The eternal Lover

Divine One

Dancing through two forms

Becoming and belonging

The kiss of the Cosmos

Takes us home

Through galaxies and exploding pulsars

Into the depths of all.

The cells celebrate the reunion with what was always

known

Awaiting infinite discovery

We go together Beloved

Essence and body

Hand in hand

Through our dance

We are One

Helen is a Cosmic midwife, Divine lover, messenger and thought leader. Connect through her site, YouTube and social media

Evidence

Homecoming – Santa Barbara

I’m not going to document my life

In disposable snapshots

and pithy phrases.

I am not going to document this life

to feed the insatiable distractors.

I am not going to document this life

in the wrinkles on my face

or the aches in my bones.

This life writes me.

I am written

And rewritten

Evermore.

There is no story for the telling

Only the wash of the waves.

There is no proof of becoming,

For we are this.

And still I am here,

whoever that may be,

Dancing with you

Piercing the clouds

To gasp in the laserlight of One.

We know.

We know.

Yet we cannot hold the Universe in our palm.

The eternal breath records all

Minutia and megalith,

Lichen-spread on surly rock face

And crumbling morning sands.

The breath, the breath

Rises over the mountains.

And we are.

Helen is a guide, frequency holder and thought leader in new consciousness. More on her site, Youtube and social media.

Staying or Going – New ground

Does your soul want to be here? Can the power of your Divine essence hold and stay in this body, now?

I no longer “do” energy forecasts, nor do I write much about how I perceive collective shifts *but* at this time people are leaving their body- and not always in alignment with their highest choosing, – though of course there is always perfection at one level.

There has been a big wave in the last day or two. I suddenly lost a very, very Beloved soul brother and I hear of a number feeling really unsettled and literally pulled out of body. For my own self, I had an immensely intense direct experience in my own consciousness that has changed me indelibly and so I feel moved to remind all of us – who may be at the forefront of anchoring new light levels – to really focus on grounding deeply and consistently as never before, if we are to maintain these bodies in these new light streams.

I have spoken to this many times but my direct experience now has exponentially shifted the importance of this if we are to maintain.

We get to choose.

And many of us are just entering what we came here to co-create and the gridwork to hold it. It takes US – in multiple configurations – in all that we are; in Christed interdependence. Let’s not waiver. Let’s stay clear and focused and more deeply aligned in the Yes of our essence than ever before.

We are sovereign and we are innately interwoven. The direct discovery of this supercedes any mental concept. I would literally not be here now if it were not for you-me-us. And I wish for you – if you are reading this – to know I am here for you; we are here for each other; regardless of identity or location. This is about frequency and frequency placings.

Simultaneously we are called to be here for ourselves – IN BODY – as never before, not in this lifetime, nor many. This is commitment and trust on unrecognizable levels, just as it is light and the dissolution of polarity constructs on unrecognized levels.

Helen assists the evolution of consciousness right here on this blue planet (and elsewhere). Meet in the frequency field. More on offerings and services on her site, Youtube and social media.

The dance of Intimacy

How may freedom and love dance together, with neither being compromised?

Art – Majid Ali

For both the fullness of freedom and the depths of love to be fully explored, we are asked to relinquish our tight grip on seeking what we see as safety, as well as burning away so many closely held beliefs on the nature and function of intimate relationship. We are asked to come to the fire of continual self-inquiry, where we will meet our fantasies and made-up stories about our self and the person before us again and again. We are asked to put down the dream of resting eternally in another.

The burning of all of this is what frees us into truth and so we get to live and play in relationship from much greater authentic Beingness. The risks are so much greater – to the personality – and so are the rewards to the soul.

A popular projection is that open relating is an excuse to avoid commitment. Whilst it certainly can be a legitimizing of superficial connection and abundant sexual activity without emotional maturity, it may also be a commitment to exploration of freedom and love beyond the limitations we have embodied. When undertaken with profound integrity and radical self-responsibility, it may be amongst the most paradigm shifting arenas for Love and consciousness to embody.

Leaving aside their legal, political and financial functions for now, all social contracts that imply permanence—such as marriage—are, in part, an attempt at alleviating existential dread. The pain of loss cannot be avoided. Not even if you bond for life—because life as a human ends.

As humans we are not static. Nor is nature or consciousness. We know this and witness it continually in our world. We know that change is the nature of consciousness evolving. Yet the human psyche tries to make sense of things, compartmentalize, control and create meaning and stories. Because it’s literally terrifying to admit that there is so much that we can’t control.

The deep existential terror is a primary motivator for much that we create as humans, in order to seek comfort, solace, and answers and to fill the void of alone that is encoded in every incarnated soul. This is the primal pain of perceived separation from Oneness and the fear of the ultimate meaninglessness of life. This primal terror is part of why we cling to structures, and to unfulfilling relationships, confusing the objective with the absolute.

What if? What if, we say, this works now? Let us do what works now. This is not nihilism or hedonism, but a mature and brave recognition of impermanence that does not compromise intimacy. Impermanence is not the same as meaninglessness.

Effective intimacy is not in direct correlation to time. It might be happy-ever-after, married for fifty years. It might well not be. The level of deep connectivity arises not from the form but from the foundation, honesty and aliveness of relating. It comes through courage and availability for vulnerable inquiry. Intimacy – like Love – is actually right here in this moment, with no guarantees – none.

We have been deeply programmed to partner with one, especially in western culture, even though all the statistics show that this does not work. As more people are awakening and exploring self-realization, there is a maturing appetite for conscious intimacy. Allied with the structuring of society into abnormal virtual isolation and the insanity and unsustainability of nuclear pods, and our Beingness is thirsty for what is true.

Thankfully, the spiritual fairy tales of twin flame have been decomposing in recent years, and more and more people are seeing through yet another layer of fantasy and story that keeps us limited. The advocates of transcendent non-duality may aspire to inner union that almost disregards the preciousness of human intimacy as the greatest catalyst for that inner marriage. Mainstream media sells the story of happiness and love as dependent on the perfect other. The truth, or at least, the richest arena for soul and personal growth, perhaps lies somehwere in the middle ground. Perhaps it lies in recognizing the ultimate commitment is to Love in its fullest sense AND when we can marry this to truth and honesty and courage with one or more partners in full exploration, we may be in this most intimate exploration of the Divine marriage through relating.

Dance is somatic intelligence and fluency and conversation is social and intellectual intelligence and literacy. Conscious relational skill requires both masculine and feminine dynamics – body, heart, spirit and mind all aligning in the dance. It requires a remarkable amount of refinement, intuition, and emotional strength to dance deeply in intimate connection; to face our chaotic vast, mysterious reality and embrace it all fully. A particular kind of elegance, intelligence and grace are called for, as well as masses of courage, to be fully in the dance. It takes a deep dedication to self- reflect and to question one’s thinking, to live from a baseline of interpretive flexibility rather than investment in right/wrong duality.

Are we willing to dance? As the beats fluctuate, the tempo picks up, as eyes meet unflinching? Two conscious beings are following the rhythm of something greater than they, the music of the Cosmos coursing through their veins. The pulse of the Universe is expansive – one where we don’t sacrifice freedom and we don’t run from love. The tenderness where our unlimited nature meets our egoic impulses to pull away is where we grow in Love, where we get to choose, again and again. This is the soil of intimacy. It can be terrifying to the person and nectar to the soul.

It is an art and a practice to be with what is, and dance with that, rather than to impose what we think it should be. It is also emotional maturing to release our grasping for fantasy and be fully with what is present. The insecurely attached system tells us to run. We avoid what it is we most long for through fault finding, seeking to change “the other” and longing for perfection that does not exist. If the Being before me is showing up, honestly, in their vulnerability, and in self-responsibility, in this moment, this is where the juice is.

Are we looking at who is really here in this moment? Or pulling an old bundle of memories and assumptions about who I presume you to be? Facing what is present rather than our ideas, calls us to the edges of vulnerability, facing what is not here, what is longed for, and what can be most terrifying of all, the well of connection. When we look in the eyes of another soul and melt into nothing, there is no space, no other, no story. And the ego needs to be sufficiently stable and integrated to not grab this and fantasize or run.

The clearer the mirror, the more we are turned back in to our own discovery and to make love to the shadow parts, the abandoned ones, the lonely child. We are too called to bathe in the adoration of the infinite, the endless, the ecstasy. This does not come through the other but can be inordinately catalyzed by the “we” space of interconnectivity.

When we are not fully comfortable and “in love” with who we are, we may lean too much into the other, or more commonly, our fantasy of them. We may lose contact with our own self. Our unloved child may seek the father or mother we never had. Our fearful parts that run from the ultimate primordial pain want to disappear into the other and into the temporary illusion of safety, to lose oneself.

…when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness. A mature person does not fall in love, he or she rises in love. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love… when a mature person gives love, he or she gives without any strings attached to it.

When two mature persons are in love, one of the great paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone. They are together so much that they are almost one. Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free. There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. Only freedom and love.” ― Osho

Intimacy is an ongoing evolving conversation, not an end point or destination. It can in fact encompass all the waves – connection and disconnection; space and closeness; alone and together. It can include the cycles of life, the seasons where you, or I, may be called to solitude or inquiry and the hours or days where skin and lips and sweat slide and merge and melt into one.

We may complete, or we may cycle back together, once or repeatedly, to nudge another layer, probe deeper, lean in further. If the wounded and protective ego is kept in check, Love will lead; the beacons of our soul will call.

This is the juiciest core of this dance – how willing are we to acknowledge the ego at play, with compassion and without self reproach – and to hold space as our own lover? Can we stand as Love for the shadows as they speak without letting them run the show? Or at least not for long. Can we bridge the apparent gap with such tenderness for the afraid parts and not turn from our Self that so wishes to explore the unified space?

If we enter the dance of union with the Beloved that is within, we get to reflect and investigate and die into This with other forms. Here is God/dess, union, death and birth. Here is orgasm and void, creation and emptiness. Here is our deepest vulnerability and greatest power. Here we come together as sovereign explorers of and as Love and freedom.

the dance with the Beloved

Ultimately, what we Are is undressed by the Lover’s hands, layer by layer, our shining beauty radiating in glorious innocence.

Helen is a transmitter and transformer of frequency. She is a healer, a guide, a teacher, a writer, a lover, a mother and an explorer. Find out more on her site or social media.

Wonder

Solstice morning

I am in awe.

The light coming in can feel all-consuming to the cells. Our hearts recognize the almost unbearable lightness of Being as we release sheath after sheath of restriction and contraction. The waves will continue, stronger and greater than we can conceive.

We are blessed, whether we believe we are the caterpillar, dying in the dark or the butterfly flying free in the light. We are adored unimaginably, with all of our Beloveds across the multiverse cheering us on in this grand ride.

Let me share a story of wonder. For the dawning of this particularly auspicious Solstice, I was called to be out in nature over sunrise. I was not pulled to the mountain as I might have expected, but instead guided to the lake. As I drove, my heart was melting in “heartgasms”, a continual expansion into more Love. Getting close and feeling into where to be, I was guided up towards Castle Lake which is another seven miles up icy roads and into snow. I didint have the footwear or clothing but followed the pull anyhow.

A good way up, all the while connecting the fields of light, I remembered that there is an incredible vista point, so I stopped here to see and connect with Mama Shasta, kissed awake with a blush on this Solstice morn.

first kiss

Then, rather than continue to Castle Lake, I was inwardly directed back down to the Lake Siskiyou, the main lake which has spectacular views of the mountain. On approaching, the whole area was invisible, totally white, completely drenched in impenetrable mist. The shoreline could not be seen, nothing more than a few feet ahead.

I was delighted at the perfection of this metaphor. Many of us are going into the void of death and rebirth. We die into nothing, seeing and knowing gone. I had just been deeply there myself the previous day, and so this felt so aligned – leaving the glorious, open seeing of light and going into the unseen. Again.

So, as I aim to do in my life, I trusted and followed my inner compass, making my way towards the water, unable to see lake, sky or mountain. Unable to see the sunrise. Trusting. I sat with my crystal bowls by the water playing singing and attuning to the light and went deeply into meditation, Golden light activations and multi-dimensional communion.

After a time, I opened my eyes and gasped to see before me vibrant beams of light across the sky. As I turned my head, the mountain literally emerged, other-worldly from the mists, her beauty more breath-taking than ever as she is revealed from the no thing. The beams of light that appeared so miraculously were gone thirty seconds later.

conjunction
beauty reveals

I could only exclaim in awe and wonder. When I checked the time, it was over the EXACT peak of the Jupiter- Saturn conjunction, occurring in a way it has not in eight hundred years. The cycles of death and rebirth are eternal. All happening in the undying, all-pervading One.

As I began to drive home to prepare for a live online meditation, I was greeted with the most spectacular light show. I had to stop my car and turn back just to take it in and catch a few images. I have never, ever seen light like this. I was flooded with wonder and knowing this is us, this is all of us.

Divine light codes
light gifts

I will not diminish the wonder of this mystery and these gifts with analysis. We each have our own truths, truth we are invited to dig and play and get really curious about in each moment. I know only that wonder deepens, as experience of cycles of dying and rebirthing intensify. Ordinary becomes extraordinary.

May these gifts bestow blessings on your heart and soul. May we each continue in death and rebirth with so much Grace and a remembrance of the Infinite Love that holds us always and everywhere. We are beheld and adored in the void space and the illuminated skies; in the grip of anguish and the bliss of freedom. All is wonder as we dream a new earth into being.

Helen is a Cosmic evolutionary, guide, coach, healer, explorer, lover, mother. She facilitates embodied transformation and awakening and has meditations and others resources to enjoy. Connect and find out more here and on social media.

Solstice Quantum meditation is here.

Alone

I am the primal aloneness

at the heart of the human condition.

It is a black hole

that never ends

and can never be filled.

Every human interaction

no matter how intimate and sweet

can only be partial

in the void.

The grief of this

howls across Universes.

It is endless.

It cannot be avoided,

though we may spend a life

trying to soothe

and comfort

and fill.

Tears and wails

and twists of agony

are the swansong of this

pain

that lies in every heart,

deep, deep beneath the stories.

And now I can come to you.

In truth,

in bravery

and as Love.

It was a destiny I have avoided

and deferred

for a lifetime,

yet all the while,

feeling its inexorable

pull.

It is the pain of the splitting

of One into many

and the amnesia

that accompanies this experiment in

duality.

I am no longer afraid to name you.

To claim you.

To face you.

This is the blackness

at the core of the core.

The turning away .

The end point that does not exist.

And in claiming you

and naming you,

I die into everything.

Helen is a Cosmic evolutionary, guide, explorer, lover, mother. Connect and find out more here and on social media.

The arrows of Love

What pierces your heart? What bursts it asunder, tenderly or in a flash unsees? Love does not give ownership. It scoffs at the notion of control. It does not protect us from agony. It opens us relentessly to our own nature as This. It IS the burning knife slicing through the chest. It is the lightness of Being that bubbles in the cells. It is the arrow to the heart. It is the leaping and the falling, the light and the shadow. It is the exquisite and agonising tasting of all.

Today my son and his girlfriend left to live more than 500 miles away in a city they’ve never visited. We’ve been apart before – 5000 miles apart for five months – but this is a graduation into another cycle. This is a stepping forth into adulthood; an initiation that all parents come to as do all those we call children. After two decades of shared living, and many twists and turns of unfolding, it’s richness is profound.

I realized many years ago that, from that first intake of air as a newborn, our greater invitation as a guardian of another Being is to let go. To love fully and fiercely and tenderly and consistently and to let them be exactly who they are. Of course we fumble clumsily, and sometimes spectacularly, as our own fears , attachments and unconscious desires play. And that’s ok. As our own parent, we can call these back to spaciousness, with deep compassion.

Cal, age 10

For a few seconds, a thought came of how much easier it is for those who do not feel as deeply. Immediately followed by the deeper truth that I am here to be alive . To be brave enough to feel all the way. To love, knowing that the heart will be battered again and again. Those I love may go to the ends of the Cosmos. I cannot restrict them or hold to them. I can love them.

When an arrow penetrates the heart, let it be there. Don’t try to pluck it out. Follow it all the way and breathe. Breathe into the heart and around the heart. Be that which is also breathing the heart.

It really is a privilege to live with another human being. To share the intimacies of a crumpled barely wakened face; the vulnerability of the ups and downs of daily waves; to navigate the irritation, the laughter, the distance and the connection. It is a privilege that has come to a close for now with this incredible Being who plays as my son this time round. As well as loving him massively, he is one of my most favorite people on the planet. I respect and admire him deeply and it has always been unavoidable to see and feel his shining essence.

I’m excited for him and his love as they move forward. It’s right and good, however it unfolds. I am grateful that I love this much and I am grateful that I have shared so much of the past two decades with him. It is an honor I appreciate more acutely than ever. Conscious co-living is how we get to practice love in its fullness. Mastery is how we dance – feeling fully but not wallowing , holding space and Presence without detaching. Shakti and Shiva. Here, now.

Onwards

Helen is a soul guide, healer, frequency holder, teacher, mama of five , dancer with Life, living in Mount Shasta. She faciltates transformative groups, events and Connect on Facebook or her site.

Revisiting

Revisiting

new light and power

Immediately after my initiation experiences at Castle Crags, where I met with a very unexpected adventure, lost on the rock faces and needing to be rescued, the mind thought “I will NEVER be back there!” Mind thought “every time I see those rocks I will be reminded of the fear and trauma”. Well, exactly one week later, here I was setting off to hike the trail again and alone. My soul again has another design.

In the days that followed those initial reflections, ( I recommend reading now before you continue!) so many more depths began to gently unpack. And I do not doubt that it will be likely be years before the fullness is revealed. Even in those first days, I began to sense that perhaps I would be going back and initially it felt like some of the community who had held and supported me so fiercely through the trials of being lost on the perilous crags would be accompanying me. As the days moved however, it was clear I was to go alone in the physical, but calling a circle of support.

I felt noticeably calm, trusting in the rightness, even as I had felt and trusted the rightness of the previous week’s intense challenges. As I got into closer proximity, I felt sadness come. Sadness as I had felt in the day after the event. Un-nameable, no face, and very, very old.

First priority was to take time to get quiet, gather my intentions very clearly and make sure to be as prepared as I could be, whilst not knowing in any way how this journey would transpire. I also took pause to acknowledge my courage and willingness to embrace this further mining. I followed a different trail up for the first part and a sister’s remarks – to not go alone and to take bear spray – were the perfect trigger for fear to focus on bears and mountain lions, both of which do prevail locally. There was not another soul around and each leaf or pinecone dropping to ground could create a startle in an activated nervous system. There was also a rich stillness, adorned by fading greens and glowing yellows of the trees’ foliage changing season. In the stillness, the antics of mind can be watched with more lightness, or indeed, grasped and multiplied.

I observed that my system was releasing layers of fears and trauma, not only from the earlier dangers but from numerous beliefs and experiences across many timelines. They needed no accompanying narrative or description, just the peace of freedom. I saw them as smoke or steam just rising off the body into the soft autumn sunlight. With presence and acceptance, it is always remarkable how the intensity of emotion, connected to thought, can be utterly absent in the next moment, dissipated in a breath. And so, I progressed.

My dedication for this journey was to move with grace and ease, not striving or pushing, yet the hike is hard and steep and long. The sun seems so much lower in the sky than a week earlier, the clocks having changed an hour, so I am sharply aware of the diminishing window of daylight. It was a wryly amusing irony that this time I saw the repeated signs warning hikers that it was not getting up that mattered but being able to get back down safely, without losing the trail and in daylight. I hadn’t seen a single one of these the previous week when I had indeed lost the trail and spent hours on the mountain side in the dark.

Fairly soon, I came to a shady area where in the winter months a river would be flowing. This was the spot I chose to make ceremony before going further. I called in many Beings and aspects of light and asked for the permission of the spirits of these lands to proceed and make my pilgrimage. With their blessings I continued. This path took me first to the Vista point, or viewpoint, which I debated following all the way, as it added another half mile, but that was my sense to go.

the view from Vista Point to my earlier adventures on the rocks

What I saw when I arrived there blew me open. The imposing grandeur of these rocks looming six thousand feet high and holding majestic power has touched me many times. As I slowed and sat with them, receiving their power and beauty I suddenly began to see, to really see with my own eyes, where I had been. And- immediately – how much danger I had been in.

It had already been reflected to me by another that she had seen I was very close to death that day. I had felt the truth of that when she spoke it, but, especially given that large portions of those times are not in my conscious memory, I only had a light intuitive touch on this truth. When I looked through the telescope placed at this point for visitors, I was stunned. Stunned to see the sheer rock faces, the pockets of vegetation and the fatal drops at the area I had been traversing for some hours. I could SEE that I was indeed perilously close to a fatal fall. And in this seeing, the rocks became the living symbol, not of threat or danger, but of how held I was, how held I am, always. What a powerfully lived demonstration – to be literally close to falling to my death and be held, safe, whole.

The tears burst forth in this realization. The fierceness of this evidence. To say and internalize that we are held and loved and supported is one thing, a vital thing, that can go deeper over a lifetime. To see it played out on such a grand and dramatic scale right before my eyes brought a different death inside of a beauteous kind.

Wonder floods the cells. Awe and humility. And I go on.

The last mile or so of the trail is a sequence of rocks, extremely narrow paths with steep drops beside and boulders and stones to scramble over. As I encountered one after another, my heart sank somewhat. There was no easy trail, no gradual incline, no safe wide pathway. Points came where more fears released, more tears and shaking, as I was once again scrambling and climbing over rocks. Fear was much closer than on my previous climb and yet it did not have me. Compassion and presence and strength were my companions, as were the loving fields of soul family, beaming their support from a distance. And yet, once again, it was I who had to make the journey in the physical, alone.

sometimes this is the path

My core intent was to fully reclaim my power, including any parts that were lost in that experience but also across many other lives. All the lives where I had forgotten that I am fully supported, where I thought I could die. Numerous lifetimes where we leave the body, having forgotten that it is but very temporary, leave a residue if we die unawakened. Today was another part in the journey of embodiment and claiming my eternal nature right here in this body. Only body and identity can die, the eternal is unwavering.

Prayers were with and in me the whole journey and my attunement to all levels of my environment more at my forefront than the previous week where I was more earthed in the trail. This reminded me lovingly again not to drop any of my wide range of dimensional beingness in favor of another. I am all of it – a vast range – and playing out through this form, different aspects more prevalent at times than others, but none can be forgotten. The lure of a galactic or Cosmic aspect may be appealing especially when earthly matters feel overwhelming or deadeningly dense. Just as the apparent simplicity of human living can appeal when the scale of Cosmic shifts challenges mind or heart. I am all of it. And I am here to be all of it HERE. In this body. This body that is scratched and bruised and stronger for its travails on this very mountain.

I realized in the time after my losing of the path and becoming very disoriented, that I had indeed gone through a portal, perhaps several. Dimensional realities co-exist and intersect far more than we realize and there are some spots where these gateways are much more prevalent. I travelled in this realm but definitely in others. My knowing of that will come in more detail only if and when it is pertinent. Ascending these rocks, it is easier to see the literal interconnection with mystical Mount Shasta to the north, a much more renowned dimensional gateway.

In partnership with Mount Shasta
wisdom keepers

Almost at the very top, I was guided to find a spot to connect in meditation and healing, much like I had a week before, but this time not going to the very end, where the trail becomes very dissolved and confusing. Remembrances, light codes and reconnections poured in for a time. At the core of my prayers were the children, and especially the beautiful bright boy who had fallen to his death here earlier this year. I had not known of him until after my own adventures, but immediately I heard, I knew there was an interconnection. I heard the story exactly five months to the day from his death on these rocks. I made ceremony and left offerings for him and for his heartbroken family. Offerings that will hold and anchor light for future generations and for all children who feel lost. My journey was for these children too, their freedom and their reconnection; to know that they can never die and can never be lost, no matter how horrific the circumstances of their life in this moment.

balancing dark and light through the gateways
descending

By now the sun was already dropping beneath the peaks of these mighty crags and my inner wisdom told me not to delay. The path back was long and unsafe. So, I made my way, with care and with a little more ease, continuing in prayer. Along the way, there were spots to stop and engage in specific energy work and always, always leaving a trail of light. I was given insight into this place and its role and to other timelines and experiences. The many layers of what occurred stay Sacred and quiet in my own intimate connection with Divinity. All of this came into the weave of what was healed, cleared, and brought for integration.

mysteries as the sun drops

By the time I reached the base of the trail so much energy was moving through me I was dizzy and disoriented.  Taking time to eat and rest and let soul family know I had ascended and descended safely was my prerogative. Then and now, to take time to go into quiet inner retreat. To reflect, digest and integrate. I was in bed by six thirty, dissolving, so much softness moving through these cells, freed of lifetimes of limitation.

sometimes the path is light and wide

This work is not for “one”. It is equally for Us. For all. For our freedom and for our power. For this land that holds the keys of new consciousness and for every one of us making our own unique pathways towards the light of our souls. This pilgrimage came the day after the US elections and part of my vision was to hold and anchor light through these transitions.

We are mighty and glorious, and we are always, always safe, even when body breaks or dies or mind cracks, there is the placeless place that persists, that cannot die for it was never born. I bow to you as this eternal Love. Love that climbs and falls and flies and never, ever dies.

Helen is a guide of Love. Information on sessions, events, services, meditations and more at her site , Youtube and social media.

Life breaks us open

My view as night fell and the waxing moon rose, Castle Crags

Life will break us open again and again. Sometimes like the gentlest lover whispering in our ear. Sometimes in a startling moment where everything changes.

I chose to hike on what promised to be one of the last warm days before winter lands hard. And I knew it was to be Castle Crags, a rugged and challenging hike to six thousand feet, with spectacular views at the top across to Mount Shasta and over the whole valley. Several soul sisters were going to come but it ended up being just me and I was grateful to have a very rare stretch of hours to just walk and be in my own energy and out in nature and sun.

glorious views and light

After a hard, hot two hour hike up, I spent time meditating and connecting to the weekly healing field I have been co-holding for seven years then began the descent, looking forward to a gentler journey down. Except. Except Life had something else in store. It was time for a deep and powerful initiation that would see me perched on the steep rock face many hours later in the dark.

My view from Castle Dome towards Shasta

The return path was neither clear nor singular and I quickly lost it, right at the peak. Despite an acute sense of direction, every attempt to get back towards the trail took me further into steep granite gravel rockfaces, deep gullies and unscalable inclines. Staying steady, I repeatedly paused, reassessed and tried again, only to get more and more disorientated. The theme of pathways came again and again. I looked at how I am here to forge new pathways, not follow those already laid. Was this not what I was getting to practice in a dramatic way?! I had not been fully owning both this courage, capacity and calling.

Several times I skidded out of control on my rear, down loose shale, grabbing shrubs or anything nearby to stop my fall. After an hour and a half, I conceded that I was lost. This actually made it more acceptable to be scrambling and climbing furiously. At the same time, I realised with a jolt of fear that the sun would set in an hour and a half. Feeling foolish and embarrassed at losing my way, I also realised the wisdom and necessity of asking for help. None of us exist in isolation, whether from other humans or Mother Gaia. I had not seen a soul this whole time, so this acceptance set in motion a chain of events. Firstly phoning emergency services and unsuccessful attempts to walk me back to the trail. I got more and more into impassable inclines. I eventually spoke with the ranger who was out of town and would have to travel back, then make the long hike up. They then would be aiming to reach me and we’d somehow have to tackle climbing out but in the dark. My heart truly sank.

It was clear to me I couldn’t just stay there waiting for it to get dark. At this same time, my dear friend sent out a text to a group of powerful and beautiful soul and spiritual friends who immediately flowed very palpable healing and support my way. She and several others grabbed together hiking gear and supplies and jumped in their cars, making their way to start hiking up to me, knowing it would be hours before the ranger could get to me.

I found a surge of strength and focus and set my determination. I called in all my teams of support. I could do this. I spoke words of encouragement inwardly and outwardly and, taking a deep breath, started to attempt to scramble up the crumbling white powdery granite. There were no shrubs or trees to grab on to and , looking back, I have no idea how I managed to do so. Again and again, I found sections to traverse, each seemingly unpassable. At points, I came to thick manzanita growth, where I had to force my way through the hard and jagged wood, legs being gashed, grasping branches to gain traction.

I connected to my power, claimed my strength and told myself I could do this. Occasionally tears would come but quickly I regrouped and kept going, step after step, keeping an internal compass on the elusive trail.

Every so often the ranger would check in on my location and offer guidance on a direction to try. By 7pm, I was high up at the very base of the mountain and, with my phone battery getting precariously low and darkness already deepening, I decided to perch next to a small tree and wait. What I actually did to traverse those rock faces is astounding. There are big chunks of time when I was undoubtedly in another reality.

gentle sunset

This was my space for deeper reflection of this extrordinary turn of events. Perhaps well that I didn’t know then that the local Wintu tribe call this area the abode of the devil! I did know that black bears and mountain lions frequent but, surprisingly, felt no real fear. My vantage point was of utter beauty as an almost full moon rose over the rocks. Mount Shasta had been kissed blush pink and the first of the stars took light.

I counted my many blessings, greatest of all perhaps having phone signal and people coming to help. I felt the embrace of Presence and healing Love with me consistently and saw the faces of several of my soul friends again and again. I pondered and prayed and shivered and ocasionally cried and soaked in the wonder of it all. I wondered if I’d be there all night without water or a jacket, on a steep, steep rock face and with a dead phone. Time/no-time becomes the same once again. I saw myself home having tea, warm and safe, appreciating these luxuries and privileges. And I knew too, that whatever transpired, this experience had changed me.

The immediate and unconditional help of a man I barely know, who was bounding up the arduous trail in the dark to help, cracked me open. The beauty of this place cracked me open. I saw my vulnerabilty and strength hand in hand. Aloneness and utter interconnectedness. I thanked every tree and shrub and rock that had helped me take a step. I was in awe at the container of support flowing in the unseen realms and at the same time I was here in body on this mountain. Only I could take the action and move myself to a better place, albeit uplifted by many helpers.

Two hours later, the two men who would guide me down the long descent were with me, water, warm clothing, flashlights and care in hand. They brushed off my apologies with the assurance that this was indeed what they were here for. We still had to find some way to get us off this precarious area, and in the darkness. I was so thankful for this luminous ripe moon as we edged and scraped and slid our way to the eventual trail.

It’s so interesting to observe the difference it makes to be in a situation of challenge but with others. Such a natural reflection of our communion as an interconnected species. Always this dance with our inner resources and outer reflections. We joked and talked much of the way down and at times fell into silence, each of us weary and, for me, reflecting quietly on what had transpired.

My dear friends had got to a point on the trail, armed with hot cocoa but had to turn back to move their car so I assured them that I was safe and on my way back and they disappeared off into the night, the direct evidence of their kindness unseen, yet felt so permeably the entire night.

I made it home to my children just before midnight and the tears finally came. No thought, just broken open. No regret, no confusion. This was meant to be, that I know. In the hours and days and weeks to come , if I am patient and present, deeper seeing will open of all the teachings and wisdom of Life through this initiation. Initiation it was, I have no doubt.

Castle Crags

There is huge gratitude and some degree of wonder at the outpouring of support from my soul family. And I am simultaneously keenly committed to not grasping any quick or simple spiritual conclusions on this unfolding. Life is greater than that and always multi dimensional. There are numerous layers to what was opened, invited, shown and received.

So I will be so very kind to this body and heart as we release and ingest. I will stay with a steady presence in the not knowing even as seeing lands. And every time I glimpse these striking rock beings, I will remember this day when I was awakened to something entirely new. Life moved through all the beings who took time and energy to help and hold me . Life moved through the sun and the moon, the light and the dark. It calls us always to wholeness, a wholeness that exists in nothingness and before the someone. The someone breaks open and more of the everything is revealed. Smiling. Loving. Knowing.

May your heart be blessed as you are broken open, great or small. I love you.

To all my Mount Shasta soul family, I love you and thank you from my deepest heart.

Todd and Blair, you kept me safe, calm, directed me and walked us all down through the night. Thank you.

Helen is a transmitter of Love, a guide for the soul, a companion on the pathless path. Find out more on events and sessions on her site or social media.

The wave

Constant reflections are here

Many of the recent and continuing waves of light have been highly activating, bringing no sleep, a strongly vibrating body and often uplifted states, for some of us. There is always a wave of contraction accompanying, before or after each influx.

The past day, I found myself suddenly dropping into a deep space that felt very depresssive and wide. Movements of thought or attaching story came like whispers in the wind, echoes of grief, each valid for what it is, but none sticking or staying. The mind had no traction with any of them.

On waking, the weight was still here – grief-like – yet not. Density. Giving quiet and space to myself, all that came was to take the body to the nature and walk. I was pulled to the lake and set off, staying with breath, with moment and feeling the internal squeezing. Sometimes spiralling, sometimes palpably solid.

More and more, I see the refinement in the edges we dance in evolution. In the commitment to be emotionally fully present, we can get looped in processing and personalising ( when the truth is that everything is both intimately personal – because it flows through our body-mind-being as consiousness – and utterly impersonal). As we live more in multi-dimensional or unity consciousness we know the universality of all. We are aware and attuned ever more to our role as conduits and transmitters of frequency and frequency shofts. So there is always a greater picture. And we can also get lost flying high and wide and not giving full space and Love to our human experience and stumbling.

Lake Siskiyou

These were the edges I was playing as I walked. Not to abandon the feminine emotionality yet to hold a stable container of awareness. This is the work I offer in the world.

I watched the delicacy of the part that wants to pull in when it perceives the scale of Her cannot be met . The continual dance of intimacy with Self-other. The part that want to look outwards for that. And all is folded back in, in this breath this heart.

This further extends to how much this one feels she has to hold and alchemise all into wholeness within her own being and alllowing some of that to take place through the container of intimacy and throught the truth that we need us. The balance of sovereignity and interconnectedness. One can subtly become fixed in even the most admirable goals – for example embodied consciousness that is not caught in attachment, projection or co-dependency. What an art it is to hold oneself at the center always and to remain fully available and vulnerable to what can be learned and opened through the conscious dance with another.

Life communicating as I walk

It is an art founded in inner safety, consent and the container that is offered in the relationship. An art founded on deep and mature self enquiry and full self responsibility that does not leave behind the hearts tenderness and the power of naked unknowing.

In a moment, density shifted into a wave of deeply pleasurable life force and joy. A literal seeing of the sine wave which at one extreme feels so dense and another so open. Then I suddenly see a great bird fly right above me and am startled to realise it is a mighty bald eagle. As I stop in my tracks and just feel her I reflect on her medicine and Presence. The eagle soars bringing a higher and wider perspecitive – one that can free us from the traps of mind and conditioned action. He does so fully embodied in a powerful body, with keen vision for the detail of his habitat and environment. There is no detachment in his height and width. I spend some time just being in appreciation and then as she takes flight I realise there is a pair at this nest.

My heart opens a little more at the Grace of this metaphor or partnership and balance. On soaring and staying grounded, guardians to the young. The dance of the masculine and feminine counterparts. What a wonder it is. And when I came back down the trail some time later there they were, overseeing the nest, their Presence potent and strong.

As Infinite consciousness taking a finite form and living in this density on earth, the nature of our experience is that no-one will ever know the world as we do. No-one will ever look through our eyes, or our heart. Nor can we expect them to. AND we are channels and expressions of oneness. So there can be great commonality of experience but there is no one definitive truth.

Hearing from several soul family that they too were in a very deep and strong wave brought some small comfort and simultaneously others feel elevated and activated. Beware of taking anyone eles’s truth as your own. Yet be humble enough to question your own, always. Let us not stick at any one level of our multi-dimensionality or human -ness. Fly like the eagle as we stay here and present, tending what is precious in our heart. We are the ocean in which every wave is formed. We are Love holding all.

Helen is a guide, explorer, teacher and mother. She faciltates groups, collective meditations and individual transformation. Connect here or on her site or social media.

Falling in Love

Love sees and contains everything

Falling in love is falling into what we are and have always been. It is the nature of true freedom to discover that falling in love is in fact profoundly transpersonal. It can seem like the most intimate and personal occurrence in our life – to fall in love with “another”. And as we free ourselves from mistaken identification, we further free ourselves and those we are intimate with from projecting – or at the least believing projections – onto another.

We are opening ourselves to the field of Love that we already exist in, that makes us, that moves us. The dream of another Being is but a doorway. Our relationship with Love is our relationship with our Self. Our fear of intimacy is our fear of being consumed by Love.

As an awakened human, we can still enjoy the butterflies and joy and passion of a newly ignited connection, and at the same time know that it is but a happening of Love meeting itself. We are not in love because of the “other”. We are in Love because we are of Love. We are Love. The unnameable that we may call Love is our Divine essence; the ocean of boundless awareness; the Source of everything.

So as the biochemistry shifts into something more subtle, the idiosynchronicities of that particular expression of Love become more starkly seen. How are they held? Are they separate from any experience of Love? How do we meet our own human-ness and that of our lover? Can we fall into what is beneath, before and through every quirk, personality trait, or habit and breathe in the scent of the Infinite?

Can we cultivate our love affair with the Beloved; the eternal dance of the masculine and feminine within; Divine union within and without? Can we give ourselves to Love that is not rooted in fantasy, nor in a belief in separate other; putting down the pull of attachments again and again as we spiral into more freedom, more love?

Yes we can choose this. A choosing that is breath to breath, heart and Being opening and stabilising, opening and stabilising, a pulse that is the thrum of the Cosmos. It takes great courage to know that no-one will save us, nor complete us. No-one will fill the longing that is our innate gravitation towards Source.

There is only One here , playing through the joy of forms. Judgement and blame are the fuel of the illusion of separateness. There is only Oneness experiencing multitudes, deeply personal and yet there is really no person. Let us fall into Love, dissolve and die a million times over. Let us be had.

Helen is a soul guide and ally who has been in the healing arts for two decades. Her heart lies in creating spaces to support our embodied awakening , each and together. She plays, dances and serves Love, consciousness and the embodied awakening of humanity. Find out more about sessions, services and her work on her site or follow on facebook.

Celebrations of expanding Love and Freedom

Yes, the West Coast of America is burning and overlaid with toxic smoke. Yes, many people are entering a second wave of oppressive restrictions. Yes, there is massive economic challenge and insecurity and immeasurable psychological impacts on mental wellbeing, through enforced distancing, especially for our children. Yes, climate change, wildlife decimation and the selfish plundering of Gaia’s resources shake the fundamantal infrastructure of this beautiful planet.

And.

Millions are waking up. Millions are asking questions for the first time , or in more sustained ways, as to the meaning of life and as to what is real, true and can be relied upon. Through waves of restrictions, millions are giving more attention to the nature of freedom. Millions are being pushed back and down into their hearts, and it is through these very hearts, being opened and purified through fires of change and challenge and downpourings of light, that we find each other again.

So it is the conditioning that is being enquired into and given attention. The continuing revelation of the prevalence of systemic mismanangment that is being exposed and, at the very least, agendas that are not centered in the wellbeing of all shakes the ground and shifts our gaze.

In the shaking , if we can stay here for it, and get quiet, we discover in the aftermath more space. More space between the thoughts, the beliefs as to who we thought we were. We discover that Love is everywhere. Maybe.

Some are feeling the Hieros Gamos at the core of the Cosmos. What it is to be in Love with Love, the Beloved. In Love with the opportuntity to live this through body, heart and soul. Some are getting to explore in new ways what freedom and Love can be like in action and play, when more and more of the programming drops away. It is no mistake that freedom is disovered through apparent challenge and restriction as we are squeezed through the birth canal. Misidentification only drops away through being seen, felt and understood for what it is from the eyes and heart of Source, or what we may term Awareness. It may not disappear, but what dissipates, over time and attention, is the charge and the magnetic pull into constriction. For our true nature as Love is unbounded. Whether we chose to channel it intimately with one partner or to express organically without definition of a container, our hearts are free. They are unbounded.

Love is a currency that has been so massively appropriated and contorted that it takes much courage to stand in the fullness of what it actually is. It takes the bravery to be wholly vulnerable to this moment. Not resting in past promises or memories nor future fantasies. There is no wrong in visiting these places – the skill is in realising this is what we are doing – and that the fire of Love is right here in this moment. It is the light in the eyes of the one standing before you. It is a Cosmic tunnel which has no endpoint; where all meets and merges and dies and births in the Cosmic orgasm.

As the sea level of collective consciousness shifts, new possibilities can manifest. Freedom can be tasted even if but fleetingly. The spaces that open within are palpable, visible and alive with potentiality. To orient from an open and freed heart in intimacy holds integrity largely to the degree to which we can authentically and courgeously honor our own heart. Can we hold ourselves? Can we free ourselves? Can we know safety? Adoration? What does “no” look and feel like? How does yes move through the body in this moment? Then we can dance with another in the deliciousness of polarities; waves flowing and resting. Then we are less likely to project our fears onto making the “other ” wrong or less than in any way or onto trying to control them or the relating in order to feel safer. The safety in Love is a safety of dying to what is false. It is safety of giving all of ourselves to the unending.

There is a readiness and ripeness to be tasted now, one that has always been available. Now we can play in the Love that we are. And through our lovemaking, Universes are created and recreated. This is our gift.

Cosmic lovemaking

Do not dim your heart and your fire because our brothers and sisters, the animal kingdoms, trees and plants are suffering. Ignite it and radiate the light as a balm of balance over all that is being released. This is alchemy at play on a great scale, however the human characters might be playing their roles, and it is just getting going.

Our heart, purified through the fires are our greatest tool of consciousness. Do not diminish. Do not be afraid to radiate fierce love across the planet, burning away what is false and restrictive in our own paradigms and those we have been upholding on earth. Claim your authentic freedom to express Love without shame or limitation.

Helen plays and dances and serves Love, consciousness and the embodied awakening of humanity. Find out more about sessions, services and her work on her site or follow on facebook.

Don’t try to be holy

Isn’t it so much more comforting to have some idea of who we are? Especially if it’s “desirable”! Our job may have gone, relationship crumbling but still the grasping ego will clutch for an identity as a life raft. Spiritual identities paint over the previous less conscious ones. Identities nonetheless.

As all of humanity rumbles with this mighty shift, there is a great undoing. The cracking is deeper and more widespread than ever in human history. So it’s an entirely natural response of the identified human to cling tighter to ideas, beliefs and consequent heated feelings about what is “happening”.

It does not matter.

Not “it does not matter” that many many people are suffering , and on multiple levels. Not “it does not matter” that systemic abuses are more evident than ever. It does not matter at the level of truth where there is only This. That placeless place we go to – if blessed – when we choose to land in our Self. That placeless place we all dwell in when we drop these bodies, beaming with the joy and humor of it all.

It matters deeply to the human heart and in our bones that that which we are is suffering. We did not come here to dissociate from any of it, though the mind will do so to self preserve the psyche if required. Can we excavate both the courage and psychological maturity to open these tender deep hearts? To be shakingly vulnerable as often as we can? And yet not to lose sight of who we are or get waylaid in stories?

We are not this.

You and I, we are the same. Not same, same. Maybe you love tuna and hard rock and hours of watching sports. Not this one! Same in that place where there is no you. There is no I. And what a delight that, as G*d, we picked out different bodies, genders, created a whole array of experiences (which we keep playing with) to know ourself anew.

Helen is a soul guide and ally who has been in the healing arts for two decades. Her heart lies in creating spaces to support our embodied awakening , each and together. She plays in gatherings internationally and meets one on one . Find out more on her site and social media.

Freedom

Form changes as freedom is revealed

Two years ago, after watching the bizarre incongruity of military tanks rolling through this pristine root chakra of Gaia as part of the 4th July “parade”, I reflected on the tension of the polarities bursting in this country in the seeking of freedom.
Here we stand now, with old ways cracking deep,
with freedom codes flooding in
with a new world in both death and birthing throes.

As every Mother will testify,
the miracle of birth is simultaneously ripping us wide open to the sheer power of Life.
Even as we are dumbstruck in wonder, it includes searing agonies and bloody rending. The current through it all is Life,
Sacred,
unending and ineffably tender in it’s Loving.

Make no mistake,
the wonder at what is here is vast,
even as there are tears, confusion and suffering.

The world has changed and will continue to do so more than we can imagine. #thisisfreedom.
These shifts do not just fall into our lap, though we re showered with Divine light and assistance to draw us forth. There is transformation happening all the way to the core.

Today, and every day, may we honor
freedom;
Love,
Truth,
co-creation,
peace,
and oneness.

May we honor and call for unity that embraces all unique expressions of life, not a desperate imposition of one world view upon numerous apparently conflicting ones.
I Am That.

May we honor our diversity that swims in the ocean of our shared Beingness as the same stuff playing in this great Cosmic sandbox.

May we honor the beat of love that throbs in every heart, whatever our shape, color, gender, form.

May we honor our authentic evolutionary spirit.
Countries and borders are made up from false stories of identity that have claimed countless lives and create false separation.

Change comes often with both courage and great devotion to what is true. That is not yet awake in every soul; it may never be.
But find the spark within your own.
Find the seed of Life that glimmers and sparkles and sings to you, a Cosmic angel shuffling in a body suit.

Let us awaken to who we are beyond all identities.

Let us dedicate to freedom in it’s deepest sense and all its expressions.

Helen is a soul guide and ally who has been in the healing arts for two decades. Her heart lies in supporting our embodied awakening , each and together. She plays in gatherings internationally and meets one on one . Find out more at http://www.helenquail.com

Continue reading “Freedom”

Harmonics of humanity

Where are we now?

What my world looks like may literally seem and feel like a different planet than yours. We sit in this paradox that our unity as inter-connected strands of Source light is more apparent than ever as the whole of humanity is changed. And the experience of this global response had massively diverging impacts. Disparity is only heightened as the wealthy are compelled to a better balance , walks in nature and face to face time with their children. Meanwhile in India, thousands walked overland to return to their villages, work gone, food scarce . And throughout the world, numerous streams of misinformation are flooding, setting up multiple games and agendas of distraction and confusion.

Countries across the planet have been in quarantine orders for a minimum of several months; civil liberties have been curtailed and most cultures continue to be utterly changed with strange and wildly inconsistent protocols for what constitutes acceptable “normality”. Economic, emotional and social impacts are incalculable. As months march on, people are moving through further waves of response to this cracking of structure; collective trauma; the falling away of the possibility to plan and our identification with linear time; and the empty space that was filled with get togethers – in restaurants, bars, clubs, sports fields, beaches, concert halls, shopping malls, gyms and parties -this space echoes with the longing for human intimacy and the dreaming of simultaneous potentialities. A considerable number are turning back to the earth, re learning the skills to cultivate her soil harmoniously for sustainable foods and ways of living. It becomes more and more evident through the fractures in government, health organisations and the media that nothing is as it may have seemed. Nor will it be again. That revelation is one to celebrate – for many many more Beings awakening into their own nature; beginning to challenge authoritarian structures and explore personal sovereignty.

Where are we now?

In January, before the world turned, these reflections came, an unwitting foresight to what was about to pop.

“Overwhelming, the deluge of consumerism, product after product, service upon service, all the ways to shape these lives and find “happiness”.

What is left?

What does it all mean?

Financial success, improve the body, get the girl, paint the house.

What does it all mean? And this whole economy, driven, driven on a lie. On the great obscene lie.

This is not who we are. This is not what this world is.”

Whatever our experience personally, so many more are waking up to that – this is not what this world is. The exhaustion that has settled like cement dust in between our cells is slowly, slowly seeping out. Some who work in health care do not have this graciousness. Their call is to launch full heartedly into Sacred and relentless service of fellow humanity. Whilst bodies and minds may waver, spirit knows what is to be done.

A canyon of wonder, Arizona, June 2020

This world is incandescent beauty, shimmering wonder. It is mountain peaks and ocean depths and wild lions roaming the African landscape. It is long, long hugs; great leaps and salty tears. It is dancing in the dark and sitting in the stillness of a new dawn. It is vast rolling desert and clammering voices. The howl of the single owl and the song of the whale giant.

Humans are members of all the life that lives upon this earth. We live here only by Her Grace. She gives everything needed for survival, sustenance and comfort. As humanity got more and more lost in the belief that it is some separate and superior entity that can plunder and dominate Life, there could only be cracking into the new. Humans will only continue substantially if this cracking is received. It is time to get humble. To kneel on the soil and pray. To let our tears fall onto parched lands that have been raped of their abundance. To get so quiet, the hum of our heartspace may ripple through the air and form a wordless swirl of harmonic beauty with the song of Gaia.

She never forgot. We did. And now there is no choice other than remembering.

Where are we now?

Can we breathe in the feather’s edge of not knowing?

And the washing through by Love – undying, without reason or beginning, all encompassing. And at the same time, meaninglessness.

We stand as the wave of Solstice moves in and upon us, bringing unprecedented lightfalls upon the cracks. The great shift that is happening is undeniable. It is being experienced through billions of unique perspectives as timelines diverge and there is great challenge for many as old belief systems and structures crack. In this very diversity that we now can see is the very invitation we are called to bow before, where are WE now? What is the commonality that co-exists in the diversity? What is the ground which holds space for every thought and feeling and color and texture?

When we choose our highest Truth and come together grounded in the foundation of Presence, we access far greater of our infinite nature as Cosmic Beings and alchemists. Our hearts can access the Higher mind of consciousness and and we can open to the magic of our nature as Creators – Co-creators. When we bring intention together coherently and consciously, the miraculous occurs.

We were never forgotten. Never could be. We are just remembering who we are and- though it is terrifying for the individual that believes in death – for our eternal soul, it is the ride we have been waiting for. Breaking through, forging new worlds.

*If you feel called to participate in shaping our world, consciously with beautiful Beings at Solstice you may like to join our gathering .

Helen serves in the evolution of consciousness on the planet and the birthing of new ways. She is Cosmic soul , evolutionary, healer, lover and mother here to birth the new through Love right along with you. She has been developing and assisting with embodied awakening internationally for two decades. Regular meditations and group healings are on Facebook live. Find out more on her site, where you can sign up for very occasional mailings and on Facebook and Instagram. You can subscribe on YouTube for free meditation resources and on Insight Timer and Soundcloud.

The Mother of All Times

Art by Zeng Hao

How are you right now in these times of times? My prayer is that we each know how deeply held we are, in and by Love itself. Whatever our personal experiences in this shift, there is ever-present Love. We are pulled to meet everything that is rising, from the depth of what we actually are. This is a great re-balancing, into the arms of the Mother. The extremes of patriarchal control are shifting. Temporarily our external freedoms are being stripped, as are the foundations of what many see as normality. Can you see the discovery for many – sometimes – quietly – sometimes through great storm – of actual freedom? Of what remains in the disintegrating?

There is real suffering and economic and emotional devastation. There is much anxiety. And also, taken out of the workplace, people are incorporating daily walks, meditation practices, home cooking, planting gardens, family time. Some are getting more rest, more emptiness and certainly a different pace of life, devoid of the nine to five overlay. We are getting to explore flow as well as focus, yin as well as yang, desperately overdue and imbalanced on the planet. Whilst many relationships will be feeling the pressure, there is also the opportunity for some for much more time together, genuine conversations and the adventure of exploring how to live day to day in this whole new world. For those along physically, there may be renewed or new connections with family, friends and neighbors. Creativity is sprouting exponentially from online projects and countless zoom calls, to handicrafts and long delayed art projects. The feminine that has been rising for years is coming home to land and a whole new balance is seeding. It is alive and messy and painful and unknowable and joyful as this new births.

There have been countless disasters, natural and “man-made” that have taken a toll of millions, and continue to , principally hunger and war. This present development is characterised by breadth and magnitude of its effects unparalleled in living memory. (One of the most comprehensive and intelligent pieces of writing you may find on this is here. ) Most, if not all, of humanity is being touched by this wave. Some are far more unprotected by any semblance of financial wealth or health infrastructure. Some are more vulnerable due to age and health issues. This is not about a virus. Nor can anyone claim certainty about the multiple layers of what is occurring. So we can discern information and make informed and responsible choices, but truly we are brought back to our own wisdom and to what is greater than any understanding.

Grief is a common experience, whether our losses may be deemed minor or catastrophic. All griefs at their base, come to the great grief, the un-nameable howl of matter believing itself to be separate from the formless Infinite.

At the widest level, there is a total encompassing and embracing of all of this in Her Love and Grace. All tears, all lostness, all aloneness. As birds and dolphins return to deserted cities, skies clear, pollution dissipates dramatically and Gaia breathes deeper. The Great Cosmic Mother is here, we are in Her womb.

Many of us have been feeling all the way into being with this incredible situation across the planet and deeply into the bones of our lives. We have to start from the ground (earth) up, taking care of our hygiene, our sphere of contact and our bodies vibrancy and resilience. As we contemplate threats, perceived or otherwise, to survival in a body, it is prevalent that primal programming and cellular memory about death grow stronger and more visible. What is also occurring amongst the awakening communities is a greater, deeper stability in energetic coherence to hold the physical body as it releases.

We also nourish our connection to the formless and to what sustains and expands our very Being. We are in the living practice of simplicity, surrender and living life in the now that we have been preparing for. This is an unprecedented time to anchor in our own practices; ground our sovereignty; to find the stillness and stability of our own selves; as we weave and create whole new ways of living and being in community. Let us remember too tender compassion for our humanity and vulnerability; the places that release fear, grief or rage. 

Our role may well be to firstly hold frequency above all. And that can look like living daily life in the simple and creative ways we can, in an ongoing exploration of form and flow. That means being here firstly for and with our own Self, carving out dedication to self-care – more than ever when there is so much noise on the collective airwaves – and practicing dropping in and down to the omnipresent. We get to choose love and care for this body and our immune system; for our minds, our hearts and for our spirits.

Here, it also means being here and in this play with my four younger children and two house guests, perfectly drawn together from Brazil, China and Scotland to be in Mount Shasta right now, all of us navigating something unknown and wildly magical. Personally, just now, I am realizing in deeper ways why I received a call to California seven years ago to be here now.

It means showing up more fully for our community, both global and local.  Witnessing the irrepressible buoyancy of the human spirit, singing songs from mediterranean balconies, or exhausted medics chanting prayer mantras before surgery, we are seeing who we are when much is being stripped away. Yes there is also greed, panic and selfishness but look wider, look deeper.

Here in Mount Shasta, I am moved to offer direct energetic support in the ways I best can through this incredible shifting time. One of the ways that is expressing in this moment is that, since the middle of March, I have been holding free daily meditation and healing support via FB live at 10 am and these will continue ongoing. On any day, if that might be of value and resonance, you are so welcome here. I have also created a new meditation for those not on social media.

It is more evident than ever before for many Beings that Life is here in this now. “Plans” can have no solidity and we are being drawn home into the only true navigation, our own Self-nature as Life, as Source. Timelines are not only collapsing and redirecting, they are doing so in such rapid and pivoting ways. The mantra to live in the moment has graduated to an entirely new level of weight. Any attempt to plan dissolves immediately and we come back with more clarity to the only thing that is true. The reverberance of our own heart.

As this wave touches across race, gender and age; as it reaches opposite sides of the planet, the evidence of our interconnection is dramatic.In the disintegration, can you feel the cohesiveness and the perfection as we are literally forging a new world? A message that has been at the center of these shifts is the call to our own sovereignty and authenticity and simultaneously the Divine web of our inter-connectedness. As never before, locate and learn to listen to your own Self. This is Mastery. Many of us have a great wealth of tools and experience to utilize and, simultaneously, it is also great wisdom to know when to call in loving support in a particular wave or cycle. As we live our days in these strange and surreal bubbles of enforced distancing, the value of our kindness, compassion and connectivity with each other only soars.

For many that have felt the undercurrent of celebration, gratitude and awe , yet are sensitive to the widespread fear, grief and confusion in many, do not deny your truth. Stay humble, let go of any attachment to understanding or certainty. Ask questions but don’t hold onto answers. Get quiet and hear your soul sing. For this truly is the time we have prepared for. The acceptance of this permeates layer by layer in wonder. We are ready.

Join Helen online for 4.4 in a group meditation, healing and activation. Details and registration here.

Helen serves in the evolution of consciousness on the planet and the birthing of new ways. She is Cosmic soul , evolutionary, healer, lover and mother here to birth the new through Love right along with you. She has been developing and assisting with embodied awakening internationally for two decades. Free daily live meditation and healing on Facebook right now, daily 10am PST. Find out more on her site, where you can sign up for very occasional mailings and on Facebook and Instagram. You can subscribe on YouTube for free meditation resources and on Insight Timer and Soundcloud.

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The Great Re-balancing

Art – Ashley Christudason ( Jungle Eye)

There have been conversations about the “Return of the Divine Feminine” for many years in the spiritual communities. Who could have imagined that a virus would be the catalyst for the decisive shift that is moving humanity incontrovertibly from the patriarchal systems that have controlled societies for millenia? In California , the decision to place 40 million people in “shelter in place” that is socially enforced quarantine was announced – literally – one hour before the exact moment of Spring Equinox. Equinox being the turning point, the balance of light and dark as we move from winter to spring. Could the relevance be more apt?

So a world founded on excess yang; societies founded on valuing the economic productivity of the workers above all else; cultures centred on achieving and doing – all of it is pulled inexorably and globally into a great sweep of unknowingness. The futility of making material plans is now revealed for what it is as all that millions held as safety disintegrates. In the USA there is effectively no financial or social safety net of a functioning welfare system and the effects economically and societally are massive. For those already in poverty there was already more of a seeing and meeting with the bare bones of life and death. This is now being given to those who have lived in bubbles of comfort. Closer to the core

As millions are compelled to stay home, the shift of attention is ripped from achieving and redirected to being. We find ourselves with our intimate ones, if we are fortunate enough to have them in our home. All of the things we have been deferring for a time when there is more time now sit, pulsing the invitation to – actually – live. To create, to dream, to rest, to flow, to play, to communicate with our beloveds, to care for our neighbors, to tend to, our relationships, to feel all the feelings, and to live fully in the ocean of uncertainty. In other words, to be in the sweeping and fierce embrace of the Goddess.

turning tides called by the feminine moon

It is such a lightening not to have the omnipresent undercurrent in social media of selling one’s latest course, event or product. That energetic current just cannot be here when there is such a disintegration. And what beauty (and terror for many) that this disintegration leaves no-one immune. Nationality, gender, wealth nor age remove us from the dramatic inter-connectedness of all beings. The truth of our true nature as expressions of One is before our eyes.

There are great cracks in the fabric of conditioning now and, to paraphrase Leonard Cohen , that is how the light gets in. A substantial number of us in the awakening communities are here to write new futures; to create new ways and forms of intentional living in community, in how we use our life force and tend to our physical, emotional, spiritual and mental needs, from a fifth dimensional perspective of unity consciousness, as multi dimensional Beings in a human life. We can feel what this feels like in our bodies and hearts, we see visions, we know. And yet it is as if the physical landing has been parked in a holding bay, seeds germinating and ripening. And now the soil has been furrowed. The materials for fertile planting are being upturned and brought to the light. Now is time.

The mass waves of panic, fear, anxiety, overwhelm and confusion wash through the collective fields and all of our systems to some degree. At the very same time many of us are feeling utter excitement and celebratory joy, recognising that this is what we came for. This is the time.

There is a knowing and realization in much more profound ways that our absolute core priority is to be our authentic Selves. The more each of of us can embody the light, love and beauty we inherently ARE, all elevates, all transforms.

Helen serves in the evolution of consciousness on the planet and the birthing of new ways. She is Cosmic soul , evolutionary, healer, lover and mother here to birth the new through Love right along with you. She has been developing and assisting with embodied awakening internationally for two decades. Free daily live meditation and healing on Facebook right now, daily 10am PST. Find out more on her site, where you can sign up for very occasional mailings and on Facebook and Instagram. You can subscribe on YouTube for free meditation resources and on Insight Timer and Soundcloud.

Equilibrium

Life constitutes countless cycles of expansion and contraction. Change is the ever present thrum of the Cosmos. And one of the core seeds of our blooming as Divine souls in a human body is to re-cognise our nature as That which never changes – the Infinite, boundless before-the-before. That for which there is no word, so we craft humble attempts – Source, God, the Great Mystery – to point to That which is everything and nothing.

This is the unchanging, the place of balance and resting in our Beingness. As the butterfly flies from flower to blooming flower, its resting on a petal is the essence of this equilibrium. In the midst of fertilising, spreading new life, there is a place of balance.

And so with Equinox. When light and dark are equal, we poise mid way between seasons on the brink of spring ripening into summer, or fall surrendering to winter.

And here is our human species, observing and experiencing this mass shift and a virus that is re-doing what many believed to be the world order. In the suffering and chaos there are such shoots of what we are called to – to remember our essential essence as interwoven buds of the Divine. We are community. We are inseparable and simultaneously we are a unique blossom on the tree of life.

No-one has “the answers”, as it is more starkly evident than ever that we are a living experiment. Health and economic systems may or may not sustain. We are literally living the questions. And when we can do so from our hearts , from our infinite nature, what a miracle this life dance is!

As individuals we are invited now into several vital places that are so integral to our balance and wellbeing as conscious beings. Even if we feel to be healthy and safe physically, we are asked to be responsible for ourselves and for those we come into contact with. To be vigilant with hygiene; proactive with boosting our immune system; prudent with our physical movements. Not as a result of fear but from social and personal responsibility.

Consequently we are also called to slow right down. To be in our home spaces and reduce the levels of activity and outward movements. What a demonstration of the rebalancing to the feminine inward flow!

We are called to pay attention to the vulnerable in our communities, the less seen, our elders and those who have been labeled as “less valuable” in the delusion of society that is based on economic productivity. This is not our value! We are being drawn to come to the feminine heart in a foundational invitation to reassess how we “do” this life and what we value which reclaims kindness, love, care and community. All of this at a time when there is a wave of mass awakening of consciousness. Not, by any means global, but a very significant one. As the Feminine Divine consciousness has been returning and permeating our consciousness and influencing our ways of living, we are seeing this re-balancing and further disintegration of the patriarchal distortions on which our countries and identities are primarily built. These changes are inevitable now. They can happen gradually and gracefully and they will also come in fiercely. Our planet is showing us unwaveringly that we cannot continue to destroy, consume and dominate as we have been.

For any on a path of evolution, we know the cycle of death and rebirth; contraction and expansion. We know it can get intensely uncomfortable as that which has been hidden and in the illusion of separation come home. And even knowing this, we can benefit from the reminder that the intensity or challenge is actually a result of growth and evolution. Many, many on the planet remain in a different paradigm and so the fear around what is occurring can be overwhelming. Where we have a deeper knowing, this is our practice now to not only live it in the most grounded and practical of ways, through how we choose our movements, our actions, our words but to anchor this equilibrium in the wave of such change. In our rootedness – in body, as Divine light – we each of us are beacons of what is true and real as seas shift and paradigms dissolve. When we unite consciously in this, our power is unimaginable.

Art credit Daniel Holeman

This is Divine balance that is not anchored in false knowing, not information or ideas but in our heart of hearts. It is a balance that seeds from the peace of “this too shall pass”. That every experience in this realm will come and go and everything is transient until we come home to what is. It is equilibrium that lives in compassion not judgement, that does not judge or condemn the responses of any being. There is no “other”. This is Love playing out and singing home deeper levels of fear and structures of separation and control. Whether or not we feel and believe the virus is “man made”, it is created for something greater. Divine intelligence is always at play. There is no greater power. And it is calling us to wholeness, unity and the peace that cannot be shaken.

No-one is immune for we are all fractals of one Light. The suffering, panic, confusion, isolation of any part of the whole is something happening to be met, witnessed and Loved home. And if that feels too much in these times, we have the same endless invitation through our very own self, from every place that vibrates in fear, to come home.

Helen is facilitating a global meditation on Equinox, 19th March, 11am PST to support our re-balancing in Grace and harmony. Details here

Helen is also offering one to one sessions on a donation basis for any who feel a genuine rising to meet, deepen and ground in what is true in these times and who may otherwise be impeded . Email her via her site to book.

Helen is a Cosmic guide, evolutionary, healer, lover and mother here to birth the new through Love right along with you. She has been developing and assisting with embodied awakening internationally for two decades. Find out more on her site, where you can sign up for very occasional mailings and on Facebook and Instagram. You can subscribe on YouTube for free meditation resources and on Insight Timer and Soundcloud.

Metamorphosis

reflections from the cocoon

Liquifying

Density and infinite space dance. The primordial She and the Divine He.

Light penetrates matter and circles back in a never-ending looping. Transforming. Revisiting the very first moment of what is called time.

Of course this human body can only tolerate so much. It must rest and leak and weep and bleed and breathe.

And He comes into Her, as she softens, opens wider, wider, wider.

Slowness pervades and illuminates what is real.

*Many in the awakening communities are going through profound transformation and release which can play through exhaustion, or some kind of intense physical reset. Trust the design beloved Ones. Pay attention to what arises from the core of your authentic heart and don’t be pulled away by the release of the old, old programs.

You are so loved.

Helen serves as an embodied awakening guide and intuitive multi dimensional healer, here to serve the endless exploration of the Mystery, our landing in these bodies and the knowing of our Divine hearts. She supports Beings one to one in healing and transformational coaching programs and holds group events online and internationally. Helen is, amongst other things, a meditation, healing and yoga guide, teacher, writer, and tribe mother, with a poet’s heart and evolutionary’s soul. You are so welcome to explore and find out more on her site. Free meditations and audios are available on Youtube, Soundcloud and Insighttimer . Connect by signing up for occasional mailings and follow on facebook. Or email info@helenquail.com to book a free 15 minute discovery call

A changing world

Light through stormy skies

Inner and outer. There is no difference. The upheaval and the peace. The ground and the sky. Australia is burning; North America’s political figurehead is flexing his cataclysmic muscles. The patriarchal distortions are rearing up through destruction, displays of aggression and threats of war. All of this is playing out in the physical structures of our environment, real and also unreal. What is happening in your inner world as we shift more and more into fifth dimensional living? We are microcosm and macrocosm; our bodies and minds in intimate relationship with those of the planet and beyond. The unresolved ego, the unmet shadow are here to be brought home.

As Elizabeth Peru summarises in her insightful piece on the catastrophic bush fires, “The message of the bush fires in Australia is for everyone to the wake-up to your cosmic responsibility. Lead from the heart! The 5D New Earth energy calls for a holistic, heart-centered approach to everyday living .” We are being called to live, not only globally conscious Beings, but as Cosmic ones, where authenticity in every single area of our life and choices is our guide. That does not mean we are perfect beings, but rather that we FACE our shadows, anger and fears personally and collectively and we hold space for what has been repressed with as much Love as we can muster.

Fires and destruction transmute into new ways of creating

On 12th January, we reach the end of a five hundred year cycle as Saturn becomes conjunct with Pluto in Capricorn. The Saturn shift on 12th is a tide changing overthrowing of the old dynamics. Capricorn represents the establishment, multinational corporations, governments, religions and large commerce. Saturn and Pluto concentrates power in authoritarian propaganda, greed, corruption and domination.  In a brilliant piece , Nicolya Christie writes, “The Saturn-Pluto conjunction is a significant marker on the human timeline and will initiate the closing of a major chapter for humanity. Each one of us is now being held to account and our evolutionary compass for all future actions must be set on Love and Compassion.” As patriarchy crumbles, Herstory is coming forth, one grounded in the heart and the body, human and earthly.

It is felt that the 12th will also be the completion of the full activation of earth solar plexus chakra at Uluru in Australia. There is a huge clearing and healing taking place on energy grid lines from Uluru ( Solar plexus chakra of Gaia in Oz) through Bali ( balancing of divine masculine / feminine energy) , via Glastonbury UK (heart chakra), through Mount Shasta (base chakra ) down to Lake Titicaca (sacral chakra and head of Gaia’s kundalini) . This is culminating in a healing and restoration of some of the main power grids of Gaia.

Just prior, is the Lunar eclipse in Cancer ( emotions) emphasising some of the collective emotional shadow. Our mission at this time to hold the whole scope of polarity. To extend the love we feel in personal and family relationships to the planet and beyond. To live in a whole higher level of personal integrity where we face with courage and honesty what we have been denying – personally and collectively.

Between is 11.1, which resonates with angelic frequencies and those of awakening. Many of us are attuned to the 111 awakening frequencies and the potency of gateways such as 11.11 and 11.1 . With this convergence of influences, this may feel like one of the most intense spells yet . It can be difficult to stay in contact with what is really true in the experience of such movements. So this is when we come to our practices , to moments of stillness and to Sacred circle, more than ever. When we gather with conscious intent and align to what we truly are as Love, we strengthen, deepen and expand this Divine embodiment in each of our Beings. In turn , the field of the circle reverberates through the grids and collective fields, truly as a pebble in a pond, and all are uplifted, supported and re-aligned even in the subtlest ways.

111 awakening codes

I urge that especially when we feel the weight, the challenge or the apparent overwhelm; when we feel lost in this collective dark night, that we bring ourselves to sit and BE together. Words are not needed. Stories fall away. There is only this, now, here. And we remember. And in our remembering we are forged anew. And through the field of Light we expand, we can consciously support areas of tension, around the planet, political or environmental, restoring balance and peace. We find our hearts again through the echo of each other’s heartbeat. We weave a brighter more resilient web of light. A web that all Beings can lean on through the changes and upheavals.

There will be a global online gathering on 11.1.20 at 11am PST for personal and collective healing and expansion. Full details and how to register are here.

Helen supports through one to one sessions, group gatherings and events, transmissions and meditations and online circles. She now lives in Mount Shasta, earth’s root chakra. Sign up on her site and facebook to find out more and stay connected